The New Black

How many people will read Johnny Orange’s bio? I doubt many people care that much to click the “bio” tab on the webpage, or to read past the letter we sent to book a show. But apparently you care enough to want to know more, or you’re just really bored at the office today. Read on, you dirty seeker of truth. There are a million ways bands can describe their revolutionary vocals or hooky guitar riffs, or that their drummer is amazing. You’ve heard it all before, but it doesn’t tell you anything about the band. Will two sharply-worded, business-school graduated sentences make you want to sign this band to a multi-record deal? No. If you want to know how Johnny Orange sounds, look to the source. Ethan, the drummer, can at best be described as a sloppy percussionist with an evil sense of humor. And that’s to say nothing of singer/bassist Hans Vicious, whose only loves after music are cigarettes and butt jokes. Jay is of course the laid-back member of the group, because he doesn’t want anyone to know his plans to start a Robert Smith cover band. If you want to know what Johnny Orange sounds like, don’t read some crappy bio. Listen to the CD. Oh, and I’m supposed to add something about how Johnny Orange stands out from other bands. It might be because their music is unique . . . just like all those other bands have unique music. Maybe because their electrifying stage show is, uhh, electrifying? More likely it’s because all three members are outside behind the club, pissing “JOHNNY ORANGE” on the wall. It’s too bad piss doesn’t show up on brick very well. Just ask anyone who’s seen them: they’re unique. No one else takes a piss break in the middle of a set. And, of course, the story of how they formed the band. Johnny Orange stole all their songs from some guy at an open mic night and buried him alive out in the woods. On the way back, they found Hans chain-smoking on the side of the road and gave him a ride. The rest is history. Do you really care how the band formed? I didn’t think so. Listen to the CD. If you hate it, throw it in the trash. If you love it, call the boys. Either way, I have no doubt you’ll be hearing from them again sometime soon. JOHNNY ORANGE – Pissing on a club near you this summer!!!