[00:00.00]时代音乐网 www.78497.com  [00:11.87]For years we had an aspidistra in a flower pot [00:14.56]On the whatnot  near the 'atstand in the 'all [00:18.37]It didn't seem to grow 'til one day our brother Joe [00:22.19]Had a notion that he'd make it strong and tall [00:26.25]So he's crossed it with an acorn from an oak tree [00:30.69]And he's planted it against the garden wall [00:33.75]It shot up like a rocket  'til it's nearly reached the sky [00:38.31]It's the biggest aspidistra in the world [00:42.75]We couldn't see the top of it  it got so bloomin' high [00:46.51]It's the biggest aspidistra in the world [00:50.89]When father's had a snoot full at his pub  'The Bunch of Grapes' [00:56.95]He doesn't go all fighting mad and getting into scrapes [00:59.32]No  you'll find him in his bear-skin playing Tarzan of the apes [01:04.58]Off the biggest aspidistra in the world [01:10.95]We have to get it watered by the local fire brigade [01:15.14]So they put the water rates up half a crown [01:19.32]The roots stuff up the drains  grow along the country lanes [01:22.89]And they came up half a mile outside the town [01:26.64]Once we hired an auditorium for a hot house [01:31.64]But a jealous rival went and burnt it down [01:37.64]The tom cats and their sweethearts love to spend their evenings out [01:42.26]Up the biggest aspidistra in the world [01:47.27]They all begin meowing when the buds begin to sprout [01:51.76]From the biggest aspidistra in the world [01:56.70]The dogs all come around for miles  a lovely sight to see [02:01.76]They sniff around for hours and hours and wag their tails with glee [02:07.01]So I've had to put a notice up to say it's not a tree [02:12.70]It's the biggest aspidistra in the world